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For Wisconsin, the visit to Illinois was the moment...

Pays better than Quidditch

Scene: NFL Head Office

I wanted him to respect the game & respect me as a veteran player.

My guilty pleasure:

Just do what we did growing up: first is a frisbee, second is a hat, third is the oak tree next to the Walters’ yard (the shorter one), and home is Kyle’s old gym bag.

Speaking for every non-Cubs fan within earshot: No Cubs fan has ever been quiet about anything.

God, I’m sorry. I just re-read the article and it turns out a lack of commitment to the game was NOT, in fact, Vazquez’s real problem. Apparently, it was pedophilia. We’ll work hard to avoid mistakes like this in the future.

Additionally, Vazquez allegedly sent the victim text messages suggesting they would meet for sex after his baseball season was over.

No one uses tobacco flavored e-cigs.

Unbelievably, I had to correct this from “100% TRUMP supporter” to “110% TRUMP supporter.” 

You have to take the gags out of their mouths.

“STICK TO SPORTS” -person who hates dogs in hats

your new bosses know what drives engagement

Also: Nice.

Appealing? No.