You brave man. Deadspin/Jezebel are the most dangerous splices, the most thrilling high-stakes adrenaline rush kinja-ing this side of Hulk Hogan’s wiener. Wear a helmet.

Not sure why the mascot had to look like the typical SLU Sigma Chi brah, but’s that’s real.

I’m outraged that Preston Guilmet has a dong in his youth charity logo. I mean he’s a pitcher for god’s sake!

Amazing how culture differs across the world. My wife said they should be smooth. I always try to tell her the pros prefer balls with a little mud on them and not to be so uptight, but for some reason that hasn’t resonated.

Getting Matt Klentak’s pants’ reaction that quickly is some damn fine reporting, Chris.

O’s, Poes and Bohs would like a word.

Dammit, points for execution and speed. 

You want to impress me? Pull the ball from behind my ear, then jingle some keys in my face, then disappear behind your hands.

Can’t explain why, but for some reason I feel compelled to mention we need more Cryptkeeper from Drew. EEEEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!

Fine but I need more Patty Ballz in my life. GET THEM HEARTS GOING

CAUTION: The condiment takes in this one are JUICY. Right Roth?

“We get off the phone with (the Lakers), and a minute later, offers are out there,” one Pelicans source with direct knowledge of discussions told The Athletic.

Watching their faces imagining they’re all reacting to the Robert Kraft news is somehow even better.

I heard Bryce Harper would have handed the ball to Marshawn Lynch.

+several plotholes

Screw it, here’s my suggestion.

BOB KRAFT’S DICK IS ALL THAT MATTERS LAUREN

This article is so good I’m heading to Goodwill and buying another flannel button-down to commemorate its goodness.