You say that, but who knows what Princess Tori Lux has on her schedule.

Can’t be totally racist, during the first stanza he’s clearly talking to someone named José.

Great, thanks Lauren. You could have buried that travesty down under some pictures of exploded hands before I had to see that.

An evergreen comment if ever there was one.

the strike zone was in his pants

Yeah I don’t think Oceanic Airlines flies over that island anymore.

Manager [walking through clubhouse to his office]: “Congratulations Tim, you’re an all-star!”
Tebow: “Thanks skip, but the only real all-star is Je-”
Manager: [slams office door]

Hey man, it’s not cool to kink-shame his girlfriend.

Just finished season 3 last night on my re-watch binge.

This would qualify as a kerfuffle, the silliest of whatever we’re calling this category. GET YOUR THESAURUS OUT, TOM, AND FIND US SOME DAMN BEARS.

Ian is clearly a GOAT, add him to the list. Good god, man.

The true shame is forgetting about the nirvana that are ice cream sandwiches. Mrs. Peluda and I had a make-your-own ice cream cookie sandwich table at our reception too! I accept your scorn and beg forgiveness.

I’ve always wanted a dessert sandwich.

Comes in spurts. But once you’re done make sure you clean them up because pretty soon it becomes a mess and you start judging yourself.

“It’s time to go long right now, it’s time to go deep”

An blind Iranian cleric walks into the Grand Bazaar fish market and says, “مرحبا يا سيدات!”

Got the audio:
 

If you want to try sending off a fully grown roo, tell me how that goes.

Always trust the guy wearing his own monogrammed tee.