Bonus Funbag! Could a team of adult kangaroos, trained for a year by an animal trainer, beat a high-school soccer team? Feel like yes, but only because they’d wreck those kids. GRIIET & TUFFNESS, MATE.

Dingo was his name-0

Stop, ye landlubbers, Cap’n Coonelly just be tryin’ t’ get some hidden booty. Now ye best be tellin’ how t’ find th’ loot, and also give me th’ Steelers and th’ o’er.  

Here in these parts mi compadre, we call it Releasing the Viking.

Maybe Kyrgios was being a real wanker, and he’s been known to be a jerk on the court especially when he’s jacked up. What was tugging at him, I don’t know, but he’s going to have a hard time wiggling his way out of this, and 15k ain’t nothing worth shaking a stick at.

Did he get his CPAP fixed?

Soft-ass bunch of yinzers. In Oakland that’s called Dollar Dog night.

Took me a good minute. I did a google search and everything. You take your damn star and think about what you’ve done.

I asked for the 3-1 special and they totally blew the order.

I expect nothing less from someone rocking a shirt of the famous Russian superhero Boris Man.

Must have gotten their intel mixed up with Jeff Sessions’ file.

I see your Glenallen Hill and raise you Joel Zumaya blowing out his shoulder playing Guitar Hero.

PRO TIP: If you never put the pants ON, you can’t get hurt taking them off. Plus then you don’t have to worry about going to any of those fancy pants-required events.

Don’t forget, he plays with The Machine.

“Hmm, little pitchy da-”

It’s being reported Strickland broke his hand punching a door after coming out last night. Out 6-8 weeks. Peak Asshattery.

Time to call the tennis version of Randy Johnson.

I don’t know what’s happening on the set of Avatar 2 but James Cameron has clearly lost it.

Only would have been more surprising to have seen the Mets catch two in a row.

Hold on, we had the story of the bachelor contestant who would shit into a pile of toilet paper on the ground then wrap it up and throw it away. And let’s not forget the classic, “Horton, Here’s a Poo!”.