Babies have reported feeling mostly irrelevant, with sitters saying on record they “aren’t fun to watch”.

Smokey and the Bandit got real weird at the end

Get that guy to do an AMA on Deadspin, it’d be enough premium content to save Univision. I have so many questions.

a man who allegedly would go into his office bathroom, create a “nest” of toilet paper on the stall floor, shit into it, gather it all up, and throw it away.

Overheard from the bench:

Batters getting into the box are without question the most responsible for pace of play issue. Cards were playing the Phillies last week and the STL announcers were discussing how it was taking 45-60 seconds for Odubel Herrera to get into the box after almost every pitch. It was a clearly intentional ploy to screw…

I see what you’re trying to do and ask that you politely refrain from fanning the ‘lames

Right? This is the story everybody’s missing. Someone get the Special Projects Desk on the phone.

Mets Fan Somehow Fails To Embrace Futility

LOLMETS is back everybody!

The pee tape America deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

They call this The Rex Ryan Shift.

A Joust On
Jan So Out
A Jot On Us

But why throw a pass
when you could hand off the ball
to fucking Marshawn.

I don’t think Aroldis Chapman’s garage can handle this.

BONK

Hold on...this is a blog post about a Canadian apologizing?

On the day we stand upon the edge of oblivion, at the end of all things and turmoil and time, may we have the courage to remember this precious moment, and meet our destinies with joy.

That beeves is the plural of beef, which now seems obvious, will easily be the best thing I learn today.

This is the only right answer. My co-workers say Yanny so I’m going to work from home now rather than associate with likely serial killers.