Which is hotter: this take, or the temperature of the flames from Clevelanders (-ites? -inos?) burning the city down?

My biggest fear is that I’ll have to live on a train eating gelatinous blocks of ground-up bugs. Gotta think big picture, man.

Whatever, I knocked out Garrett Green playing handball during PE. That was easily an top 10 all-time upset.

I get it. Going for the secret passage takes strategy. Unfortunately my wife knows that play.

Cutler Humor is in the core curriculum of Deadspin commenting, our kids will be taking that class in college. They’ll also be working on their term papers for Poop Stories 120 and studying for the Dad Jokes 302 final (gotta be an upperclassmen if you want to pun at this level, this ain’t Buzzfeed Tech).

Vikings video editor earned his check today. Now we need the same song with Saints’ fan reactions. Give me that sweet sweet pain.

Wouldn’t that be a holy tear?

Donald Trump: [watches gif] “SEE, I WAS RIGHT! SUCK IT DEMS.”

No doubt there are several other teams who’d be interested in adding Yelich.

Gotta think with Schulman reporting the Giants are going to go after another CF and move McCutchen to right, that this is the match. Teams have been linked all off-season, and the Marlins by now have to have a pretty good read on who the Giants can offer.

At least now I’ll have something to send to my clients when they ask why their load hasn’t picked up yet.

I think the answer is plainly obvious: all these movies need to be made with the villain speaking a Boston accent. A social wrong is righted, Mark Wahlberg gets to act more, everybody wins! DAT SIMBAH IS WICKED SMAHT BUT HE’S GAWT NUTHIN ON BELICHEK!

Could have been worse, lady. The kid could have been singing that tune by Desiigner. Not only would your house be full of expensive endangered bears, but then your kid would know that dumbass song.

Last time I showed someone my best hog they banned me from the Chuck E Cheese. Fascists.

“If you package that irrational nonsense with glitter and some ribbon, people are going to watch.”

To get out of the grays. I got my priorities straight.

This has funbag written all over it.

Make Liberia Score Again!

Neigh!