First, did Stanford ever ask what this football player was doing in public? Why wasn’t he home studying or in class? If he’d been where he was supposed to be, instead of out with his friends, he wouldn’t have gotten coffee spilled on him. Assaults never happen at home or in class, and he should have known that.

*Golf clap*

Thank you for this, I have spent all morning looking for a website to tell me who won last night’s game.

First, I wouldn’t trust the owner of the car at all

God, I hate being that guy, but can I be ungreyed some day? 

Bellissimo!

Sticking it to powerful people who are fucking up a good thing with disingenuous pleas to “avoid controversy” and “stick to sports” is a good thing.

*chef's kiss*

Can you let me know when you will be returning to sports coverage so I can go back to checking in once or twice per day? I have a lot to do today at work and all of these posts about non-sports topics are distracting because I Must Read Every Single One of Them. Whereas with the sports stuff I really only care if its…

FYI, Mr. Blank: A Toter 64-gallon wheeled commercial trash can easily capable of holding a coach’s body is located at aisle 56, bay 005 at the Midtown Home Depot in Atlanta.

They’re saying Boo-urns.

Damn. Where’s Reggie Jackson when you need him 

Crowd seeing veterans: Yaaaay!
Crowd seeing Trump: Boooo-
Producer: “Cut back to the fucking vets!”
Crowd seeing veterans: -ooo... Yaaaay!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

My bias as an 80s kid is showing, but to me this is the best looking Ferrari there is. The multi-million dollar 60s racecars are nice looking, and I should probably like the Testarossa and Enzo more, but blame it on Magnum, the 308 hits that sweet spot of clean/simple design and instant recognition as a “Ferrari.”

I feel the urge to grow a mustache and wear a Hawaiian shirt.  

Luhnow’s just afraid that if he fingers the responsible individuals, he’ll spark a cival war in his front office and then the umpires will have to get involved.

Sir! Sir! You owe me a new computer monitor!

Quick—-which one would you take, Curt’s T-bird or Conan’s 92 SHO?

He also bragged about how many likes a tweet got.