This week is Waffle Week in my house. On Monday, I made Waffle Pizzas for dinner. Last night, it was green chile cornbread waffles with soup. Tonight, I am making Falafel Waffles. I never knew the endless possibilities of my waffle iron!

Misto!! You put olive oil in it and then you can use it as a replacement for crisco/PAM/butter, whatever spray you normally use for cooking. I also mist my salad with it and use it as dressing. Or bread to make garlic bread.

And here you can see a fine example of the female Midwestern undergrad. Notice her bright summer plumage has been shed for a thick coat to prepare for the cold winters and to further discourage predators. Her head on a constant swivel as she stops to take a drink, she knows that danger is around every on-campus…

Yeah, sorry to agree with someone from Duck Dynasty, but if two people without STDs get together, stay together and don't mess around with anyone else, they're not gonna contract an STD. All that biblically correct rhetoric is infuriating, but his point is valid.

He has a lot of wrong and terrible opinions and the delivery is, well, off, but the fact is — two virgins who marry and then only have sex [ed to add: Duck Dynasty/Duggar Family/extreme(myopic) Bible interpreted sex: no kissing before marriage sex] with each other ever and ever for always til death do they part will…

Dodai, I knew this day was coming, and I feared it, because you have been my favorite writer here and I have really appreciated your perspective and your skill as a writer. Fusion is lucky to have you, and I will be checking it out regularly. Thank you so much for your years here.

In other news:

Should have bought a Rody, fucko!

This is a wedding my parents went to, but it is hands down the most cringe-worthy wedding tale I know. My parents were invited to the wedding as friends of the groom's parents. The groom's family was pretty prominent in the local business community, so it was a big wedding - like at least 250+ people.

I'm not married, and I've never been to a total horrorshow wedding, but at my parents' wedding, my mom watched a woman in a polyester jumpsuit (apparently the date of a friend) stuff an entire wheel of cheese from the buffet table into her purse and walk out.

Now, recover from your vaginal wince and ready your typing fingers for stories of weddings that did not go well.

This is an excellent point, not only for LiLo but also the crack about the long scene change. I went to a preview of "Harvey" with Jim Parsons a few years ago. The set was on a turn table that refused to work every time it was supposed to change. At one point Parsons had to come out, out of character, and talk to…

I actually know a lot of deeply religious people who support reproductive rights and struggle with reconciling their faith and their political/social beliefs. I think they are absolutely capable of intelligent discourse and have witnessed it many times.

If that doesn't win, I am sewing up my uterus.

So, some of you may have little bits of this already.

my birth was fine. Can we talk the first post partum poop, which was far more terrifying than giving birth?

I don't know if this is a horror story, but it's definitely the most embarrassing part.

So first: I don't think labor was a nightmare. I had a natural birth at a freestanding birth center. I did hypnosis. I had a doula who did all kinds of weird shit to get me through. I got to labor in a jacuzzi. It worked for me and…

I was induced due to complications, the nurse ruptured my sac w/o asking, they did internal fetal monitoring without asking, and after 30 hours of NOT letting me up to move, I developed a clot that went to my lung. They didn't do an u/s even after I told them about the pain, etc, and I ended up being sent home and…

Gah. Last time there was a horror story thread about childbirth on Jezebel, I was on the bus on my way to work, reading along on my phone. Then someone mentioned buckets, and isn't it crazy that the same supplies you buy at Home Depot can be used in delivery? NOPE. In horror, I shut my phone off, shut my…

When I was pregnant, my mother said that women who share birth horror stories never mean well. I was plainly told by her, a mother of many children, that it would hurt like hell, but at the end, I would be glad.