Teddy sucks. I don’t mean to be cavalier, but I hope he gets murdered.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

I now look forward to reading (or writing) Left Shark, Right Bridesmaid: A History of Gifs.

Or like most of us, she recycles perfectly good paper bags until they fall apart - no matter the name of said bag.

or maybe she just grabbed a bag out of the bag box ( everyone has one of those right. the box that holds old grocery bags for future use?) and it was from a long time ago because she’s been dutifully bring her canvas bag to the grocery store so she hasn’t gotten any new ones in a while so her bag supply is running low…

Sadly, I will never have sex with a famous musician. I decided 20 years ago to hold out for Gavin Rossdale, and now, even if I had the chance, I’d feel bad about doing that to Gwen.

Oh, please. My baby is a way bigger foodie than these two. He only eats artisanal, small-batch, organic, raw milk from a local producer, warmed exactly to 98.6 degrees fahrenheit.

I wish I had chefs to make me meals with strong briny flavors all day. I’d love some prosciutto and capers right now.

Yeah, if I was hypothetically going to do this I would be extra careful. The more often you have sex the more your chances of birth control failing go up, and 25 times is quite a bit for a short period of time like that.

In my highschool, at least two teachers had married their students following graduation, and a guidance counselor. They all kept their jobs.

That song is possible the most catchy/satisfying song that has ever existed. I used to sing it with my castmates to pump myself up before shows (theater kids are weird)

i rewatched mulan recently and was basically like THIS STILL LIVES UP TO THE HYPE to myself the whole time.

As long as they keep the "Be A Man" song in, then I'm okay with this.

NO. NO. You can binge watch all the time. It's NOT SPECIAL.

I'm confused about why it's called bone broth. I have been making broth with discarded chicken bits for...ever. Now it's suddenly this magical "bone broth".

So how does his kid with a penchant for drugs have anything to do with his politics?

My husband hates me because of Laundry Mountain.

I'm easily the worst in the class every time I show up, but I'm learning.