Oh, honey. That was exactly where my mind went. You wanted A-List Treatment on a Z-List Airline?

People who want "A-list" treatment shouldn't be flying Southwest.

Don't feel bad, Kim. Based on the state of my back, Kanye has been controlling /neglecting me, too.

If you got paid in 85% dollar bills you'd have a fat wad of cash too.

Oh, you! With your old-fashioned "don't steal" notions.

"And the moral would be "Don't post shit you stole to Facebook.""

No.

Anything made by Guy Fieri.

Hip-Hop triple X chicken scratchers with Fresno-style broccoli rolls

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Worse—it's the TV version of Yahoo Answers.

Can't The View just go the fuck away already? It's like the TV version of Yahoo article comments.

I would have thought the more responsible lens-wearers would have encouraged him to go to the bathroom where there is a sink to wash up and a mirror to see what he's poking at. I had better luck getting my contacts out when my fingers were moist.

Clearly he didn't care. I seemed to have better luck getting then out when my fingers were a bit moist. My point was the kids who were trying to get him to take them out were at least a bit better about their contact lens care themselves. Why didn't they send him to the bathroom to do it?

FML...all aboard the Nope Train to Fuck That Shit Central.

This was the response of pretty much everyone in our class. Two girls barfed amid all the screaming, and one girl fainted completely. I don't think anyone in our class will forget discussing Dante's Inferno any time soon.

AW YISS, THIS STORY WAS GROSS AND I ENJOYED IT.

I believe this one hundred percent. On the rare pre-lasik occasions where I would forget to take my contacts out overnight, I would have to just drown my eyes in solution to get them out without them feeling a bit like taking off a band-aid when removed.

Good lord!!!! Did his parents not know about his dumbassery with the contacts?!

NO NO NO NO NO NOoooooooaoooooo