I’m more embarrassed about the fact that I waited around for Step by Step afterwards. Like, that fucking entire TGIF lineup, man. I lived for it. I had like 3.5 friends, so what.

Just a room full of average looking, 30something white guys in Tommy Bahama shirts going, “Cut it OUT” with hand gestures. That’s the entire audition. Over and over for hours.

I’m also waiting for the ‘Star’ cover where it’s confirmed that Angelina Jolie is leaving Brad Pitt for Justin Theroux.

Some regular Hollywood bullshit. I remember when ‘The Last King of Scotland’ was blowing the world’s minds, and the same thing — the story of the people of Uganda under Idi Amin couldn’t be told unless it was from the perspective of a fictional white man — from one of the whitest places on the planet, no less. SMH to…

I wish I could like this a million times.

It’s the same logic customers use when they ask you to make a recommendation between two items and they order the item you didn’t recommended. I swear, shit happens 97% of the time.

Matt Halpern deserves an award because if that would’ve been me, I’d be writing this during my weekly hour of internet usage in prison.

“I’m trying to get a sample of each color of the lake.”

Dude. Vince Vaughn is riveting. The facial contortions? The bad lines? The eye-bulging? I mean...it’s amazing. I love it.

To everyone and anyone mourning Paul Woodrugh: WHY ITS LIKE MOURNING FOR NOTHING HE WAS UGH

When his evil fuck buddy met him outside, he did tell Paul that there were “eyes everywhere”. I’m sure he was there as back up.

Ray Velcoro’s “NOPE” face when discovering Davis in the car was fucking amazing.

I think it made a lot of sense. Velcoro’s been digging her for awhile, she really only knows how to connect with other men through sex, she just had a break-through of sorts, his need for love/affection/human connection is so fucking palpable, they’re both sad to the depths of their souls, they’re in limbo with the…

Oh god when that happened I hoped with all my heart that it wasn’t that, that maybe she was smiling happy tears at Natalie Woods holding a baby.

WORD

Also: falling into that never-ending spiral like the guy in the picture above.

That I swiped the wrong direction on Tinder.

The bottom of my skirt getting stuck in escalator.

One of my biggest: my “symptoms” aligning with too many various illnesses on WebMD, not being able to decide which one I have.

Mellie Grant...er...I mean, Hillary Clinton for President.