“I also remember that we had no terrorist attacks on American soil until Barack Obama was president.”

I am sadly certain that most of his fans, and the Republicans in Congress, would gladly acquiesce to this and offer no resistance.

The internet shot first!

What boggles my mind is the fact that Jerry Lee Lewis is 82 and Debbie Harry is 72. How can those two people only be a decade apart in age?

“My baby ate the dingo dogs!”

Who was it that once said “The key to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”

It worked for the Confederacy.

Have Roseanne (the character) die in between seasons, and then have Dan started dating Erinn Hayes.

You actually ate seafood from a Subway? You are much braver than I will ever be.

I’m seeing more Robert Crumb than Woody Allen.

Given the state of our public schools, I am sure she was near the top of her class. Republicans have been dumbing us down for years, and Betsy DeVose will only accelerate that process.

He wasn’t even the best Ringo in the Beatles.

The closed captions had it as “Ouchie Wowa” (or something close to it), too.

They’re really sticking it to that Kevin James guy. He must work there or something.

Interesting theory, but with one small flaw: Trump will never voluntarily step down. In his mind, he’s President-For-Life Trump.

I think he might be angling for a position in the Trump administration.

And they really want to see all of us non-believers suffer through the Tribulation and then get thrown into Hell. They just love seeing everyone who is not one of them suffer. They could care less about Heaven and Jesus as long as they can sit back and eat popcorn while the non-believers are tortured eternally.

I, unfortunately, know way too many immigrants from South America who believe that the doors to the country should have shut immediately after they got in. They’re loyal Trump supporters and believe that, while they themselves completely deserve to be in this country, those “other” immigrants are just leaches who want…

The title of your sex tape.

But it’s just so much fun to separate newborns from their mothers! MAGA!