mrtwincredible
Mr. Twincredible
mrtwincredible

clearly it was the logo’s fault.

Homegrown candy corn makes the best taillights.

You better have a car faster than an accord

im not sure i could outdrive jesus... according to my missus.... i should be crucified for my driving often as not

It’s actually about ethics in sixth grade track sports reporting.

Jesus Christ, junior high school half-marathon truthers are the WORST.

marathon truthers

2:43:31? Whatever. I’m running my first half marathon in June. I’ve been training for it for a while and I’m nearly certain I can beat 2:43:31, so take that, 12-year-old-girl-who-I’m-moderately-better-at-something-than-after-I’ve-been-training-for-it-for-months-and-you-did-it-by-accident!

If I ran a 5k in 2:43 I’d be happy.

F-35 could have done it in 41 min.

“Robert E. Lee” came in second.

So Donald Trump gets the most votes and now the authorities are working to prevent him getting the nomination?

They tried to get us to give our baby that without bothering to test him for any allergies.

Well, you go a lot of us going with that “sidepiece” thing.

I don't see how he can say he's "doing fine" he's wearing an adjustable hat backwards.

Honey, I love you, and I’m sorry but we’re getting kicked out now.