What have the people of Chicago have done to deserve looking at Rush Limbaugh naked?

Here, I fixed it for you!

*Catamine

Treat yourself.

Poor Jenny McCarthy. Looks like she might have the flu. Too bad there's no way to prevent that...

I think that every single part of this story is just 'yuck'. There isn't really a good way that it can be spun.

I...don't really agree that we should be angry at Target here. When she called that number, there was a very good reason they were busy. It's not like the customer service reps were sitting on the other end doing nothing and refusing to answer her call. They were working their asses off to try to fix a massive issue.…

No, it's based on the quality of the writing, at least for me. I don't read Jezebel often and was completely unaware of any drama surrounding this author. But I had to read this thing two or three times in a struggle to figure out [1] the basic damn details of the story and how it progressed, and [2] the author's take…

An 8 year old cannot consent to sex.

It's Sunday, right? Where's Burt? Or any other Jez writer?

Good for you, Doug, for sticking with this "writing" thing. Lots of people would consider it a waste of money to pay someone as he slowly learns how to compose a comprehensible sentence and not confuse the readership with baffling attempts at humor, but Jezebel probably spins it as a charity tax write-off.

True story, I had a huge crush on Beaker when I was a kid. I don't know what that says about me, but I feel like it's quite a bit.

Why go to all the trouble to give Jenny backhanded compliments? Go right for the jugular and mention her fuckwitted idiocy when it comes to vaccines. If you're going to badmouth putting her on the show, mention the irresponsibility of giving her any sort of platform to speak about children and/or health. She has no…

I have complicated feelings about nude or nude-ish/sexualized portraits of women made without their consent. On the one hand, I believe absolutely in making art with impunity and not limiting artists and the conversations they provoke. On the other, what are you actually saying by doing this? We already treat women's…

To be fair, I'd rather swiffer 10 houses over doing the laundry. I LOATHE the laundry.

I know this isn't entirely relevant, but when I got to

"the death of SeaWorld trainer Dawn Brancheau at the flippers of an orca"

I thought "hmm...that was a bit...insensitive? Callus? Like, instead of at the hands of whomever, it's a whale, so it's at the flippers of it.. ha ha?"

Then I got further in the same sentence

…

I'd be eating so much kale.

I'd be regular as fuck if I had a special pooping tiara.

Seriously, though, chocolate diamonds:

Every year?