The "every mother feels this" "no mother would do that" shit always gets me so enraged. It's like, no, really, trust me, I know at least one who will defy your 1-d expectations. I am so sorry you had to deal with the disbelief as a child. That is so stressful! I never dealt with that with my own because I never tried…

Can I just add that I hate how everyone views abuse as some sort of Cinderella story? You HAVE to forgive; you need to get over it because you found a good man; you must function like someone who was not horribly abused for decades. Doesn’t work like that.

Please give me the strength. I’m browsing Jezebel from the bathroom I’m pretending to need to use while avoiding A Required Family Event.

Thank you for posting this. Notice how her eyes shift away from her child? That’s my mother. Always looking to make sure appearances are proper. I walked away at age 16 and haven’t looked back. 25 years later I’m still dealing with all the messed up stuff my mother said/did to me. I still feel like a failure no matter…

NOTHING. I LITERALLY DO IT EVERY DAY.

COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATISM EVERYONE!

The GOP remains steadfast in their support of every child’s right-to-strife.

Police Chief Dan Oates issued a statement saying in part, “My disciplinary action speaks for itself. Everyone, including the officer involved, has learned from this event. We are moving forward.”

Well, if they fought to the death, one could argue that we would all win.

That white zinfandel story reminds me of something that happened at the first bar I ever worked.

These two dude bros straight up swagger up to the bar (which was fairly busy). Popped collar hamptonites with less money than they want you to assume they have. The one guy leans in over the bar and shouts “Lemme get a ZIN…

It was great, because I'd just moved there from Ohio maybe a month earlier. My eyebrows had to be surgically removed from the middle of my scalp after I heard that. ;)

Sea level: It really does mean what you think it means.

A yuppie and his date came into the bar. It was obviously early in the relationship and he was obviously showing her how urbane he was.

I pick only the finest awesome from old vines, then smoke cure it over hickory. Afterwards it's barrel aged in imported oak barrels, before lastly being allowed to marinate in my secret 9-spice blend. Only then will I allow it to meet you, the consumer.

Okay folks, it’s time for another round of “No, That’s Not a Thing.”

Then you are missing out.

Yeah - my dad is a cheater but OMG, someone my age, and my roommate?! I don’t know how I’d handle that. I was already a mess when it wasn’t that.

When I try to picture what Keaton looks like I see a fedora filled with penis enlargement pills and Bud Light.

I am so sorry and fuck that guy right in the face. You are awesome and he is poop.