It’s actually a very skinny challah wrapped around his head.

Thank you! I was trying to figure that out. Like a combination of Denise Richards and Jaime Pressly.

Jim meets her and is like, “Hey. Pod break?”

Oh, and I’m thrilled to know I was probably in line for coffee with a rapist at some point.

Thank you. I live right near Loyola in Chicago, and I was trying to figure out what Hogwarts-like spatial distortion would allow for a quad that size in the area that the university actually occupies. And where they’re hiding it.

Wow. The Grifter in Chief makes the Palins look like a low-rent strip mall operation.

His life is a six year-old girl’s vision of how princesses live. Except with way more psychoses.

I will second this and buy you a drink for your unshakeable rightness.

I am actually beginning to be okay with respectful recliners, but if you slam your seat back, spilling my drink and whacking me in the head with your seat—and aw HELL no with your long hair in my face—you will be getting knees and my tray table dropping for the rest of the flight.

“Lena Headey’s estranged husband claims she makes $1 million an episode on Game of Thrones and is asking the seven gods for a cute.”

Groot loves Glitter!

They split! [TMZ]

Normally, I would say Bobby needs a serious intervention. (After that banana recipe demo, I know how sophisticated your sense of humor is.) However, motherfucking Donald Trump is about to be president, it’s approximately nope degrees outside, and I don’t know about you, but I have to go to OtherMrsBiederhof’s (how…

Oh my god, we’re the same age? Either I’m completely delusional about myself or she looks like hell on a hotdog bun. I figured she had ten years on me.

“But the loss of consortium claims I’m filing on behalf of his hand will be frankly epic.”

I spent five winters in ND (that’s how I count it, in winters). You do eventually get used to the weather, but the isolation is what kills you.

Done! And please note, they’re asking for $2, but you can pay more if you want to.

In 30 years, that kid is going to be Carrot Top. Or a Trump.

You’d think it would be obvious to even the most clueless that Mitt Romney is constitutionally incapable of shade. It’s a bit like calling Dick Cheney a mensch. Simply not possible according to the laws of nature.

Oh hell, I imagine even Mike Godwin has thrown in the towel on that one by now.