Was coming to say the same thing, but I have only one kid, so your argument is stronger.

I really hope the ASSC comes up with a program of real community philanthropy: helping the homeless, tutoring kids who need it, gathering school supplies for low-income schools and students—stuff like that.

Yeah, but some mediocre white guy had to go to NYU law instead! And he’s white!

Dominic West, not Dominic Cooper.

I thought a Willis daughter had made an interesting haircut choice. Didn’t see Winona at all.

Nope. Commiserating with cab drivers about how much Uber sucks is a guaranteed way to get a smooth ride and prevent them from asking personal questions.

She just asked him to trim the little square mustaches she has growing under there.

Clots. You forgot clots. If you don’t use tampons, clots the size of small but crucial internal organs may be felt sliding from your body as you go about your daily routine. Or rather, as you had been going about your daily routine until your spleen slid out your cooter, at which point you excuse yourself to go to the…

Perf!

Hags? Don’t want to be ageist. Hmmmmm, I think I like that.

Or a lot of the “Christian” distinguishing between good women and harlots/harpies/harridans. (Oooh! So getting a t-shirt made with that on it! Can someone help me come up with a 4th H?)

I think the thought process is if you don’t fit their mold, you deserve what’s coming to you, even if it’s gender-specific violence.

Hey, if it’s good enough for Melania...

We actually live on a large body of water, so towels are important. Which is why (as smart people) we went to Costco and bought a bunch of beach towels that are each completely different in pattern and color.

Someone about whom I’ve always thought, “Huh. I guess she looks good for her age,” and then I just found out she’s a year younger than I am.

If Palin’s eldest son ever sees the error of his ways, will the headlines read, “Track Changes”?

As a dyke, I can say with confidence Ivanka is on the Do Not Bang list. She reminds me of those fish that have human teeth...

I would either get out of Dodge entirely or hole up in your home with Netflix, snacks to last a week (I know the convention is only four days, but you never know who’ll get left behind), and a metric ton of alcohol.

But at least we will have answered the age-old question of what happens when a major American city achieves the Maximum Hair Gel Event Horizon.

Was hoping to get in early enough to prevent that for you. Sigh.

I understand your nausea, but it seems that The Underdogs is the title of her YA book.