Say that three times in a darkened room, holding a lit candle and looking into a mirror, and you'll conjure up Lady Bachmann herself—I'm sure of it (and scared).

"and Don’t Forget To Blink while reading my profile lol i'm just a Great Cook Seeking To Add Spice To Your Life! Shape up or ship out."

I legitimately laughed aloud. Something tells me your paper is going to turn out juuuust fine.

You can always talk to us. Can we get you anything? A picture of a penguin, perhaps, or an otter? Hang in there, I'm sorry you had such a hideous day.

Can you scrunch a little lower than your monitor, and then look up? *stage whispers* it says something about cocks. Hee!

Insert obligatory joke about the 12" PNS. Good luck with your paper!

NVM. Answered my own question with a little sleuthing. As you were!

This might be a dumb question, but is Anna Breslaw new? Or have I just not been paying attention to weekend bylines?

Oddly, I'm somehow not surprised that out of a dozen or so replies, there are three INFJs here! INFJ - the J stands for Jezzie. The variety of types showing up here is really interesting!

You're forgiven! It'd be interesting to know if you've changed over time. I came closer to P over J in my early 20s, but then went right back to J all the way.

I think the real test has to be administered (I've done it twice at various jobs and once at school) but I consulted Mr. Google and this one might give you a quick and dirty inkling of what your type might be. If you take it come back and let us know!

Myers-Briggs, Jezzies. I'm very firmly INFJ. What's your type?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that purple frosting is the best frosting. Happy birthday Bean, and well done Mama Lentils!

I'm not sure if I'm relieved or perturbed that "private jet registration" isn't a euphemism.

I wish #cotd nominations were open on the weekend; I laughed forever at this.

Man, those eyes are piercing. I've been pierced! And they really are sea-green. I'll be in my bunk.

Congreatulations — typed that wrong but going to keep it because a) congratulations! and b) you are great!

Call me fickle, but I can barely wrap my mind around doing something fun and well-loved for an hour straight—let alone licking a tiny monkey's anus.

Why is Anton Chigurh helping Norman Bates with his banking?!

"Have a happy period."