Can someone tell me who that is on the far right of the first panel?

I wish #cotd nominations were open on weekends; this is so full of win.

And you thought drinks were expensive at strip clubs here...

Or, as it's Neptune, would that be a "Fish, please" face?

Nobody (I said nobody)

That's pretty much my idea of swimming too, kitty: circumnavigating the perimeter, clinging onto the side for dear life.

Maybe David Butterbaugh is secretly working as a double-agent and will decorate Madge's party in a hydrangea-with-hydrangea-accents theme.

I've been meaning to pick up Infinite Jest for ages. I hope the ending is everything you hoped it would be; a year is a long time to live with a novel (I love the idea of sneaking around with other books, though!)

I'm a character from The Mighty Boosh merged with an Ella Fitzgerald song ("Miss Otis Regrets").

YESSSS! Crocuta, I love you, you've made my night. Thank you so much! Thank you all!

YES! TreatYoSelf, thank you so much for your help, you've already given me some new search terms. Back to the interwebs!

It is totally in the same theme as those cards—the same sort of dark humour, but the drawings were more...cartoon-y? Thank you very much for suggestion, though!

Yes, you're spot on about the unfortunate events, and I think there was a panda! Gah! I feel like it had a really clever name and I just don't have the Google-fu tonight to find it...

Jezzies does this ring a bell for anyone? I'm looking for an artist's website (maybe a Tumblr?) and they draw these vintage-y, sepia-toned ironic postcards—the people wear period clothes, for example. The one I remember clearly features two soulmates, but they fail to meet because their noses are both in books.…

I would like to sign up to lead the screeching practice from 10:30 to 11:30 (cleats optional).

You mean, like, we should trust women? Get out of here with your wild and crazy notions!

Oh, and full disclosure, I totally got up and had a bowl of French Vanilla after this. Well played, Soviet-era advertisers!

Another Jezzie made this point on a different Roe vs. World or Pill Baby Pill post, but I think it's worth repeating: hey idiots, Margaret Atwood wasn't writing a how-to manual, you know.

The Gadget, you wordsmith you, that was a work of comedic gold! Richly deserved.

I was just going to say: the only way to quell my anger is to offer you a heart in solidarity! Hearted with a quickness.