Beautiful idea. What are the chances he feels their pain?

He should have to deliver that shit sandwich of an apology to her in person. Or, you know, a real one. What a fucking moron.

Your statement stinks out loud, sir.

That penguin has a mighty large cone.

Virginia's bridges appear to be missing a good many of their trolls, judging by this crowd.

Chemistry's out too. Have you seen baking soda and vinegar? It's the devil's own black magic.

A cockfaced weasel with a face made of cocks. Pure poetry.

I'm a big fan of "announce yourself" too, especially if dude is about to pick up his pace. It's only happened to me once, in Dublin—it was late and I was lost (so jittery as fuck and on the thin edge of panic). When he was about 10 feet behind me he said "I'm just going to quickly skirt around you now." If he hadn't,…

Take that, so-called "Ninfa"! And that, "Peter" (if that is your real name).

Let them eat dirt!

Aw, I was worried no one had figured out the tune I'd intended—thanks! Hearted right back.

Come north, my friend. Beer is plentiful, and you can rate candidates on a scale from 1 to crazy in relative comfort.

Oh, walnuts in the bum—that old chestnut.

She's probably already been headhunted for Bachmann 2016.

Bucketsful of sunshine guy had a legitimate trip of the tongue. This was a calculated dog whistle to the basest members of the party.

Aw, I thought it was a happy accident. Carry on.

A faction of vindictive florists, really? I guess the grudge-holding ice cream man was busy. Keep doing what you're doing, Jessica, these twits could learn a lot from you.

I love that you used the phrase "gloss over it" on a post about dry lips.

Ooh, I think I remember that Body Shop one! I'm a big fan of the Burt's Bees as well. I never seemed to get much product from the little pot, so last week I whipped it all up with a little spoon. It's so creamy now and applies like a dream. Love the little tingle too.

Mr. Santorum, what you've just said is one of the cleverest, most intelligent things I have ever heard. Your concise, cogent response was the epitome of rational thought. Everyone in this room is now smarter for having listened to it. I award you all the points, and may God have mercy on your soul.