You cooked while hungover? I usually only manage to snuffle around amongst the half-empty takeout containers, then head back to bed, defeated. You are amazing!

Isn't it fun? They're the most run-of-the-mill things, but when you help them with exactly what they need, they're so happy. Well done you, with your mad image and spellchecking skills!

Today, my mom was looking for a knitting pattern; the link was broken on Ravelry, and the magazine it came from went kaput in 2007. With a little Google-fu and the Wayback Machine, I had it downloaded in less than 10 minutes. It was nothing really, but she gave me the side-eye and asked if I was a witch. :D

Did this guy even go to school? He has the critical acuity of a sock.

That was my first thought as well. Awful.

I want one! My shoulder hurts so baa-a-d.

If the Cessna's a-rocking...don't worry, it's probably just some light turbulence.

I'd vote for Sense and Sensibility next, then Emma, with Persuasion last (my favourite). Have you read many gothic novels? She lampoons them (like a boss) in Northanger Abbey. I started Mansfield Park but never got around to finishing it; it didn't grab me. Pick whichever one sings out to you the most!

"track you like a tagged deer"

My mouth just watered, for real. Piled high on fresh rye? Heaven. I love Montreal bagels too, but I have to check myself before I say it because I'm afraid of pronouncing it "baggle".

I thought I'd hearted you ages ago... *clickety*

Aw, at least your friends aren't trying to sell you crap you don't need, or taking advantage of your vulnerability to mold your spending habits? Small favours!

The short-legged ground roller? I think I may have found my spirit animal.

For me, it's the fact that they're tracking so much more than what you buy. They're watching for when you get married or divorced, when you buy or lose your house, when you change or lose your job—basically your whole life is being measured in holy grail marketing moments so they can properly target their advertising.

Your words to the producers' ears. This is perfection.

1 in 3 American women need to speak the fuck up.

I never thought of putting blue and orange together before, but seeing this outfit PLUS Octavia Spencer and Viola Davis's dresses in the earlier Snap Judgment...it's really snazzy!

Ha! Anyone I don't know gets the Hotmail address I haven't checked in ten years. No soup for you!

Cash only, no coupons, no unique indicators of any kind that could be collated into a profile. I agree, this is creepy as hell.

I see. That sounds like a lot of work, but clearly the benefits (for them) are well worth the effort.