I started out laughing, but then, after the vicious prison-style shiv job on the 5 gallon jug, I saw real improvement in his technique! I fear those mighty, post-kill flourishes are gonna eventually do him in, though.

The “dodger blue/giants orange” color scheme of the Met hat clashes with almost every outfit. A Yankee cap is a much more forgiving fashion accessory.

Doris from Rego Park would take issue with that statement, sir!

Fan duel, indeed.

[rubs shin]

Ha!

God DAMMIT he was funny in that movie. Also, what is a pinko? I vaguely remember Archie Bunker calling Mike Stivic that.

Amy Schumer seems awfully obsessed with her body.

“I am woman, hear me RooR!”

“Your old quarterback, honey.”

If he dropped burns, maybe he can feel his fingertips.

Miss that guy.

Everybody does it once, brother. Go pick up Cutler...

Francesa will be a glorious train wreck today.

I’ve been wondering. I feel like it’d be harder to wrap a RB up with a cast on. As far as blocking passes, hold your hand up with fingers splayed. Now imagine your index finger wasn’t there. Yeah, Rodgers and Luck could sizzle one right through that stump-gap. First down.

I’m a Jet fan, and I'm glad Belichick was never our head coach. I never thought I'd say that and truly mean it.

So, is that scored 2-6 or 6-2?

I’m actually amazed he was able to shoot that so “softly”. If that perfectly-volleyable rebound came out towards me, I’d have gotten so excited I would have blasted it over the fucking moon.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but you have Troy McClure’s jawline and steroids have withered your ovaries!

Fuck those twins. I would’ve written their names on their goddamn foreheads with the fattest black Sharpie I could find before the game.