What do YOU think happened, Barry? I can’t get past the text messages between those two morons, myself. The Blount thing still has my antennae up, too.

I want a Wilmer Flores Mets jersey now.

That’s some bull shit.

Yes, cracking a raw egg into your beer is technically breakfast, but I’m pretty sure the kids are gonna want French Toast or something.

I'm no scientist, but it seems to me when an organization has 147 Super Bowl championships, they know what the fuck they're talking about.

It’s like he scalped the stadium, AMIRITE?!?

Get a vasectomy.

He’ll be on the field, Week 1. Somehow, I just know this bastard will be on the field, Week fucking 1.

For older heavyset white folks like me, I heartily recommend J.J. Cale followed by an Iris Dement cool down.

Bobbi Affleckman?

Whatta bozo.

Ha!

That bullet you took had The Whammer’s name on it. Fat bastid.

Had to rock the cleavage, huh Janice?

Shoulda been a farmer.

Mourning Craggs. I’ve long felt there could and should be a West Coast Deadspin desk for proper overnight coverage. Also, nightly MLB, NHL, NBA open threads. Even though the varsity commenters all split, It’d still be a pisser to follow these knuckleheads bash away at each other in the comments section during live…

Good night, west coast!

Shit sandwich.

Hysterical. He was PRAYING that triple would go out. If he was mic’d up, I guarantee we'd have heard him mutter something like “aaaaaaaaahhhhh, shit...” as the ball hit the wall and he had to start running.

Indeed. Whatta maroon!