Did something happen to Bill Simmons today?

Looks like you can get clams or crabs with those pants.

DOES THIS MEAN MY BOOKIE HAS TO GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK?!?! WHAT DO I DO, GET A DOCTOR’S NOTE?!?! THIS IS FANTASTIC NEWS!!!

Thanks. The article I read said the child was delivered and had been upgraded to stable condition. I hadn't seen the update.

Never order the “Skip’s Scramble”.

My favorite part of that sketch is when the timer starts on Michael Palin’s character, and before he utters a single word, he briefly loses his place. Hysterical.

Why double homicide if the child survived?

/dying

Sorry, Barry. While this post does an excellent job summarizing Prust, we’re still giving the prize to the girl with the biggest tits.

DEADSZzzzzzzz.......

“I did it once, but I think I got away with it!”

I’ll admit that woman made a pretty stupid statement, and the state of the American educational system is fucked, but goddamn, I’m tickled pink to read a comment from a German who, without a trace of irony or self-awareness, states that he wants someone arrested for saying what she thinks. Great shit, man. Thanks for…

This is like when Nigel gets back on stage with the band at the end of Spinal Täp.

You're becoming a fine little racist, Rohan. Keep up the good work!

Also, freezing homegrown tomatoes so you have them to make sauce with all winter doesn't suck.

Soon...soon.

For $10/hr., I'll chase the little bastards around with an orange peel in my mouth like Don Corleone.

If you’re worried because of the second period of game 2 vs. Pittsburgh, don’t be. I am also a Rangers fan, but have an insane superstition in the playoffs that they’ll play well only if I’m not watching. Game 2, I was at a Mexican restaurant with my family, and we were seated directly in front of a television which…

What has ever been right about this moron?

NBA have been marketing geniuses, and the NHL ...not so much. And again, I’m not asking Deadspin to cover hockey. I just want the opportunity to see what would happen if the NHL fans who frequent this site could have a comment thread of real time reactions to playoff games. It would be hilarious and fun. Hell, they…