Would you expect anything less from the Sausage King of Chicago?

Yeah, the title threw me, too. 

I hate the fucking Red Sox (don’t feel for me, though, it’s because I’m a bastard Yankees fan), but it definitely makes me feel good to see JBJ hit that grand slam. He’ll always be a part of the 2010 CWS-winning Gamecocks for me, and I can’t do anything but root for him, even if he is wearing that fucking Sox uniform.

Right in their couches.

I’m gonna pretend that they’re actually making a Philly Fusion Bastion instead of Omnic Crisis, even though you’re pretty clearly right...

I don’t mind the frustrated reaction here, even if I’d agree that it’s probably generally counterproductive. Not sure I’d go so far as to say that my fight or flight would be up a bit after the throwing, but that’s just personal. I have a huge issue with getting emotional when I get competitive, so I think that I tend…

That’s my nightmare, man. I’m terrified of spiders. I’m an otherwise intelligent person, but I become convinced that if I harm the spider, then he’s just gonna grow big underneath whatever I’ve used to crush him and angrily enact his retribution by stringing my up like fucking Frodo.

If it makes you feel better, my now-wife (who isn’t on the spectrum, but I am) went out on a lunch date with a guy from her college without realizing it, and we’d been dating for a couple of years at the time. Like, I was the one that had to explain to her that, based on the sequence of events that she described, the…

It should also be noted that pressing the power button 5 times in a row (at least on certain models, like my 7 Plus) will disable Touch ID. So if you can’t see your screen or can only press buttons in your pocket, for whatever reason, please just hit the power button a million times to be sure.

I think you’ve totally confused all the passing commenters. Your star count is limping along at sub-sonic speeds.

I saw him once, at a bowling alley in Charlotte, NC. Couple years ago, something like that. Most of my friends who were there didn’t really believe me, even though it was pretty clearly him, until I busted out my phone and confirmed that he was doing two shows at a small club (had done one that night, and would do one…

Her non-cooperation with MLB during their investigations, and her reasoning (“Ultimately, MLB has one reason for wanting to talk to her, but she doesn’t believe it would be of any benefit for her or her son.”) reminded me of your previous article about Josh Brown and the NFL’s ‘Zero Tolerance’ policy.

I was about to say that I’ve definitely noticed them getting more red over time. It’s been magical.

I’m with ya, buddy.

Well, it only looks like it’s $5, from $39.99 to $34.99, when I went to their site. So you may want to recommend that you pick it up in stores instead of having it shipped if you want that savings, since this discount drops the price one cent below the threshold for free shipping, and shipping costs $5.99 (making the…

Well, it only looks like it’s $5, from $39.99 to $34.99, when I went to their site. So you may want to recommend…

My first thought upon hearing about how the bag was low to the ground was, “It’s just like their damn pants, can’t keep ‘em off the ground!”

I feel like this guy should get the same treatment as those umps who got their menus in braille, except with a twist. He’d enter the restaurant and be seated without incident, then be allowed to order his food normally, but finally be served everything he ordered puréed up in to mushy mounds of baby food.

I mean, the case that this was murder is so clear cut that even a guy from the fucking National Review said that it was murder.

What about the weed and the grinder, though? I’m assuming they’re saying that’s his stuff, which really only seems like an added attempt at character assassination. Especially so, because I don’t think it helps or hurts anyone’s case in a legal sense, so it’s feels like it's just there to prejudice the future jury.