Dr. No, Really No. How Much? Well, OK.

Jesus Christ don't give them any ideas.

That's great and all but let me know when we know who's going to do the theme song so we can finally move past whatever the hell that last one was.

My only regret is that I have but one upvote to give.

ARRRRR You Being Served?

This thread mayo may not work out.

Oh honey, mustard puns?

What's on your wallet?

Either way, you get that savory toasted cheese aroma afterwards.

Any Wisonsonites who are dubious about having the chip inserted are welcome to just tuck it in between two fat folds.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

We need some sort of website that fact checks these things.

David Crosby isn't aging well.

On one hand, I wouldn't wish this task on anyone. On the other hand, it's Emily Nussbaum, and hate-watching is her default mode.

Played by M. Night Shyamalan.

I'll fetch the smelling salts from the chifferobe.

Atwater may not have invented the idea of bread and circuses, but he damn near perfected it.

Don't forget 311.

Is this an actual thing or just a subtle Dale Earnhardt joke?

I'm pretty sure that, like a celebrity obituary, this article was actually written months ago.