On one hand, I wouldn't wish this task on anyone. On the other hand, it's Emily Nussbaum, and hate-watching is her default mode.

Played by M. Night Shyamalan.

I'll fetch the smelling salts from the chifferobe.

Atwater may not have invented the idea of bread and circuses, but he damn near perfected it.

Don't forget 311.

Is this an actual thing or just a subtle Dale Earnhardt joke?

I'm pretty sure that, like a celebrity obituary, this article was actually written months ago.

Kinja comment sections are like Hieronymus Bosch paintings.

I think it was the New Yorker that recently ran an article bemoaning the revolutionary war because we could have been like Canada instead.

He was a deceptikampf.

Maybe Bourdain meant to respond to this thread.

THE POSTS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE CAT

They have a motivational poster with that tagline.

*Somewhere, in a smoky, windowless conference room, the grizzled editor of Cat Fancy chews out his staff for not getting the scoop.*

If it were a legitimate bad show, the TV has ways of shutting it off.

Sure, blame the victims.

That was where Don drove off without Megan, right?

*scrambles to patent pineapple pizza ice cream*

I've had oyster and artichoke soup that paled the main course in comparison.

That pun really broth the house down.