Our long national nightmare just rolled over, farted and fell back asleep.

Barring a headshot, he probably wouldn't lose that vote either.

They should do an alt-right only showing of The Wicker Man both because it embodies how they see women and their logic relies on straw man arguments.

That's not how stars wipe.

I guess the force isn't as woke as we thought.

Coming up with new Star Wars puns is starting to feel like a second Jaba.

One time, my brother and I had the responsibility of buying a birthday cake for our dad - while tripping. Every cake we considered was vetoed because we were sure it would give away the fact that we had bought a cake while on acid. I think we settled on Black Forest, because, man, that shit is deep.

Netflix announces it has greenlit Dr. Cop, P.I.

Are not we all secretly Werner Herzog, trapped in the futile struggle for identity, mirroring each other's pointless concept of self in the face of an eternal void of meaning?

The review in which Rabin coined the phrase, "manic pixie dream cat."

A Talking Van!?!

I don't even know how to process that information.

I think you just accidentally subscribed to National Review.

That's a good idea.

Or standing in a daze at the Arby's drive through window like it's a bar, cramming handfuls of roast beef into his greasy maw.

Man Who Lives in Bubble Highly Offended by Others' Bubbles

I bet Morrissey takes Ambien and sleep-eats entire sides of cattle and then he takes out his self loathing on the rest of us.

Morrissey chides politician for not saying "what we all say in private" and then doesn't have the fortitude to say what he's apparently been saying in private.

I'll have what he's having!

I just chalk that up to 'people are stupid' especially in the face of traumatic experiences. But Mother should know who is who. Perhaps she knew it was David and didn't care or, perhaps the mission was never to colonize, but to get back to David.