The Copeland's in my hood just shut down and I don't think anyone will miss it. If the Popeye's shut down, there would be picketing.

TSA doesn't respond well to, "DO YOU WANT TO WAKE THE DRAGON?!"

Lohan behold, an article about Lindsay.

The healing can only begin when he reveals where Lyman is buried.

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Flask

I'm on the fence with this game until AV Club tells me how woke it is.

"David timidly bit his lip while Richard unbuttoned his shirt and said, 'It's not a crime if the President does it.'"

He's just dicking around.

I imagine sex with Tyler Perry must be very boring. I mean, once you get past the Madea wig, of course.

Is step one admitting that you are powerless and that your life has become unmanageable?

I google translated that and it makes less sense in English.

That's a keeper.

Allegedly. He allegedly is president.

Before you try that stunt, you should call your physical therapist and teller.

I thought we had Dunaway with puns.

1600 Penn inoculated me from that feeling.

*Josh Gad punches his agent through the chest and devours his still beating heart*

You should've heard what the Grammys said when the Image Awards weren't in the room.

McRibbed for her pleasure.

I didn't get nervous until I saw his colonoscopy machine had a nob that went to 11.