Who doesn’t love the white-knuckle tension of “Oh no! Han, Chewie, Lando and Ranndum Loveinterest are sure in a jam this time! I wonder if they’ll *all* get out alive?”

This is why I want my baseball managers to be fat, alcoholic chain smokers.

Wow, he’s really sunk far since winning the Oscar for A Fish Called Wanda

I prefer “Tommy Lasorda returns to Dodger dugout”

I am sure Florida Man is up to the challenge, as long as he can still buy a skid of Sudafed off the back of a hijacked Publix truck.

I feel a curious stirring in my swimsuit area

“And we’re working with Bain Capital again!”

Oh my God I hope they didn’t take all his Tide Pods from the refrigerator.

I’ve had season tickets since 1998 and my first jersey was a Harold Carmichael from Sears.

Got a letter from Lincoln saying “Um, so it turns out you have Takata airbags that could turn into grenades. We said we’d make parts to fix it but...we didn’t yet. Until we do, can you not have anyone ride in the passenger seat and try not to hit anything? We’ll be back to you by summer, we swear.”

Dealer at the auto show told me — the woman who actually orders the inventory said they won’t offer it on the 40s and only existing stock on the 60s and 90s.

In deeply sad news Volvo is dropping their Denim Blue (a similar shade to the car above) and replacing it with...nothing.

If you’ve gambled and lost mortgage payments on the NIT, Vince McMahon has the league for YOU!

See, this pisses me off, because it takes away one of my Eagles parking lot stories.

I’ve seen this done with boxing and it’s not nearly as amusing

My wife’s car came from a dealer that promised free annual inspections if you kept the Analrape Yugo plate frame on.

My Mom died before my little guy was born (we found out my wife was pregnant literally the same weekend) but my Dad just died in October and my little guy turned three right before.

The 928 was always my favorite Porsche and I almost bought one back in the mid-90s until I realized a car that originally stickered just south of $100k shouldn’t be selling for $25k just four years later — and a little research showed that the frames tended to...not be after a few years.

The Hall of Fame of anything should consist entirely of people/entities even the average fan would look at and say “Yes, of course.”

I pity the poor interns who have to answer the phone at the local CBS affiliate most Sundays, since here in Central PA the Ravens claim it as their secondary market even though the Ravens are probably the 4th-most-popular team here, behind, in order, the Steelers, Eagles and Redskins, and some days I’d even say 5th…