My wife is so afraid of someone noticing her when she goes to poop, she actually keeps a 2nd pair of shoes in her desk so nobody recognizes her in the stall. She calls them her Shittin’ Shoes.

the Nationals could sure use a reliable reliever

In related news, Dan Synder’s first name is actually pronounced “Fuckhead”

I got my first concussion due to an extremely dumb confluence of events. It was one of those gym days where the teacher basically says “eh, do whatever you want”, so my friend Pete and I were trying to kick soccer balls from one end of the basketball court into the hoop at the other end. A few foot behind us, our…

Before mine, I’m curious if Megan can share what would be an appropriate amount of human blood in her soup that would stop her from throwing soup out?

Soooo we’re all in agreeance the husband was definitely in there jerking off and not taking a dump, right?

What I can’t figure out is at the end when she says she moved out by Christmas, did she leave the husband by Christmas or did she and her husband move together? I hope she left him, that guy sounds awful.

Oh man, that is ‘Burbs jr.  I swear if I didn’t yell at him 10 times during breakfast, he’d still be sitting at the table with half an eggo waffle at lunch time.  I was worried when he started kindergarten that he wouldn’t have time to eat since they give kids like 7 minutes these days.  Apparently he gets through his…

McMurphy leaves out one diabolical angle to what ESPN did. Its not just that they figured the McMurphys of the world would be too driven to sit on the shelf. ESPN thought that paying out the contract would cripple him as a potential competitor. Let his contacts and influence go stale while people forget about him and…

Thanks for planning my weekend for me!  :)

I find that weed gets me into the cleaning groove much better, and quicker than booze, and helps me focus on the mundane minutiae of domestic upkeep.

John with the traffic question, I have 2 words: ZIPPER MERGE.

Not only is he the true Hit King, he’s gonna be a better player-manager than Pete Rose when he comes in to pinch hit at some point, which will just piss off Rose even more, which is just great.

How much time do you think Rovell will spend over the next few years checking every day to see if this shop shuts down so he can tweet out a “I told you so” message?

John Skipper is their White Knight, sent to give them the bump they need.

I’m really happy for him, Cocaine use is a lot more widely accepted in the UK.

He just hit MY phone!

It’s just a chess piece in the never ending game that I like to play called “Who’s doing it correctly”

I’m glad to see Holiday get some recognition. He’s had a hell of a year, but it’s been overshadowed by AD, understandably.