Dammit, I knew I should have read ahead before I spent all that time finding that gif.

Man, there’s a lot riding on these movies.

It actually could star Lori Laughlin on the Hallmark Channel.

Wow. An old-fashioned “The studio head insists on putting his mistress in the picture” scandal. Seems almost quaint by today’s standards.

“He said he’s not a conservative, he’s not a Nazi. How can anybody who specifically says he’s not a Nazi have taken ANY inspiration from Donald Trump? Use your head, people.”

So you’re saying the suffocating shroud of death is not a buy.

Well, that would explain why he tried to sneak into the country dressed as his own grandma.

I read that with a couple of the words switched around and thought you were talking about Jonah Hill’s role in Superbad.

And the award for Most Caucasian Headline of the Year goes to...

“What is this artsy fartsy crap? We can’t have the asshole with the mustache win at the end.”

Really? Huh. Different strokes and all, but that is the opposite of my reaction. A few months ago, I watched it for the first time since the early 90s and was struck by how entirely unfunny it was. Most scenes, I couldn’t even figure out what the joke was supposed to be. Like, okay, he said “schwing.”Is that the joke?…

We need to get Big Rock out of government!

And yet Gary made Brie come in the day after she won her Oscar. How unfair is that?

Well, hopefully Gary will come through with that manager position he promised and then Brie will be able to fire that bitch. Emma Stone has been saying she wants to pick up a few extra hours and she’s a much better fit for Fridays anyway. I just hope all that extra work doesn’t cut into the sequel too much.

You got this all wrong. Larson is just such a down-to-earth person that she never gave up her old job ever after she struck it rich with that Disney money. I heard shooting on Captain Marvel was delayed several times because that skank Keira kept ditching her Friday shifts, forcing Brie to come in and cover for her.

I can see that. I’m a much bigger Shane Black fan than I am an Iron Man fan, though, so I’ll take that trade.

I have no fondness for the film (I’m that rarest breed of SW fan: a Lucas loyalist) but I agree. When you ask your audience to take everything so seriously, don’t be surprised when it doesn’t want to give your hinky plot developments the same benefit of the doubt it might give a film that presents itself as mere…

I don’t think either of those characters would be able to destroy one of those gigantic spaceships so easily. That was some Superman shit.

It’s such a silly thing to toss out a fun movie over. Who cares about the goddamn Mandarin?