Once you reach a certain age, pitching a tent gets harder and harder.

That would be how I got my allocation.

Does that mean he’s not coming on then?

I bet the default rate for max optioned F150s is at least 10x less than Nissan Altimas.

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

Mr. Right Lane Only. [ETA: Wait he’s a Brit so that doesn’t work. Cock.]

You just found your replacement writer...

It’s Tuesday, and that means another edition of Resignation Letters to Patrick. Today’s letter comes from Doug DeMuro, Jalopnik’s resident humorist, part-time Ferrari owner, and specialist in the Rule of Three. Doug writes:

Just looked up the new A5. Wow, what a disappointment.

Voting system is about as crappy as the play of the game.

The only reason he joined Twitter is because someone told him he could block people.

Mate was fired today apparently

Someone needs to comment on the fact that Sean M himself is like 75% of Jalopnik, what are the car guys doing while Sean’s dropping quality articles left and right everyday?

Spoke too soon. Jumped straight to comment on that last quote and hadn’t gotten to this gem yet: “Of course, you can also do what most Raptor owners do, which is option C: trade in the truck on a new Super Duty, because the Raptor simply isn’t large enough to fit in with your heavily macho lifestyle that consists of…

HOE-LEE-SHIT. This has got to be one of the best lines 2016 bar-non. Bravo Doug, bravo.

Sure, but can it control the POS known as Nest when the Nest doesn’t connect to WiFi 80+ % of the time after they release broken ass updates?

The problem with a lot of the DOTA community (same in a couple other esports), is that the casters think they are as essential as the top players. This cannot be further from the case in a real sport, and the only reason it can even fly here is that Esports aren’t just quite big enough in terms of spectators quite…

It’s yoooooge. Just great. My favorite car. I know it backwards and forwards. It’ll pay for the wall it runs into.

Does a truck count?