Okay, but people pay $300K for memberships to his golf course. If I invite you over to my house for Christmas and take a dump on the rug, sure it’s technically still my call, but I’m also a huge dick for doing so.

Should have watched The Incredibles and known the perils of a cape.

Not me. The promo copy clearly promises colored commentators.

This band has, by far, the best “metal” name and logo. I mean really, who is ever going to forget that? I’m not even going to point out which one I’m talking about.

Wait until you see how Stevens plans to stop the Cavs from turning the page and reaching the Finals:

Gotta say, I’m surprised. That’s a pretty good view from the nosebleed section.

“Baby on board, something something, Burt Ward!”

If I saw that goddamned bear looking through my door I’d be making brownies too.

My theory about SNL is that everyone liked it when they were young and are like “it’s not funny anymore” because they outgrew it. Anyway, Melissa McCarthy’s Spicer has breathed some new life into it, for sure (and Baldwin’s Trump is a close second).

I have it on good authority that the Celtics were the team that asked him that question. I’m just hoping he gave them an answer without bias.

No, no, not /every/ part....

How do games keep getting released with all these bugs? Does nobody have a QA department any more?

Caps would’ve won if not for all the Penguin’s ILLEGAL GOALS. So many bad goals allowed by terrible (or sick) reffs! VERY UNFAIR !

...not even your good buddy, Weiser?

when i drink alone, i prefer to be by myself.

Considering the Mets’ depleted-ass lineup, ‘anonymous players’ may literally be true, i.e. who the fuck is this guy in a Mets uniform talking to me?

You underestimate the signifcance of white sheets to the right.