Okay, but people pay $300K for memberships to his golf course. If I invite you over to my house for Christmas and take a dump on the rug, sure it’s technically still my call, but I’m also a huge dick for doing so.

Should have watched The Incredibles and known the perils of a cape.

Not me. The promo copy clearly promises colored commentators.

Wait until you see how Stevens plans to stop the Cavs from turning the page and reaching the Finals:

Gotta say, I’m surprised. That’s a pretty good view from the nosebleed section.

“Baby on board, something something, Burt Ward!”

If I saw that goddamned bear looking through my door I’d be making brownies too.

I have it on good authority that the Celtics were the team that asked him that question. I’m just hoping he gave them an answer without bias.

No, no, not /every/ part....

How do games keep getting released with all these bugs? Does nobody have a QA department any more?

Caps would’ve won if not for all the Penguin’s ILLEGAL GOALS. So many bad goals allowed by terrible (or sick) reffs! VERY UNFAIR !

...not even your good buddy, Weiser?

when i drink alone, i prefer to be by myself.

Considering the Mets’ depleted-ass lineup, ‘anonymous players’ may literally be true, i.e. who the fuck is this guy in a Mets uniform talking to me?

Finally, somebody said it. Nobody cares about your struggles. Maybe don’t live in the antarctic.

You know what will be an uncomfortable conversation? When you’re in bed one night, Alexa hears you and starts playing the music, and you have to say “No, no. No music necessary Alexa. It’s just me tonight.”

You underestimate the signifcance of white sheets to the right.