Yeah, that “get seen game over” mechanic is stupid.

With the exception of the exceptionally vicious ones, most pro-death penalty conservatives I’ve ever heard from mostly want it for rape and murder.

Yes, it’s true.

This man has no dick.

nasty calluses that would take a cheese grater to grind off.

Stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before...

E’s not dead. E’s pining for the fjords!

I’d swear you were describing a Hanna-Barbera cartoon.

All that said, if you happen to be an Olympian fucking on cardboard beds right now, we’d love to hear from you, so please email tips@jezebel.com.

“I did it like this, I did it like that, I did it with a wiffle ball bat. ”

Dolly can play several instruments, one of them BEING her nails.

She is credited as such on “9-5".

Looks like the douche didn’t fall far from the bag.

We have created an asperational american mythology that we all could be rich someday. And we have done so for a very long time well over 100 years. We are raised believing the mertiocracy means the best people are the rich ones otherwise they would not be rich. I disagree but that is the poison of the lie of meritocrac…

Man, Vince Neil went downhill after the 80s.

Shop online first when possible. If they have a car I like online I’ll go check it out and do a test drive.

I would never mandate camera usage for my team, but at the same time I notice that the people whose cameras are consistently off also tend to contribute a lot less than others - and incidentally less than they did when we were all in the office.

Opening day for the Dark Knight. With my best friend at Universal City Walk, we waited our whole lives for this movie, so we paid extra to see it in IMAX. This is not the fake-MAX you find at some theaters, this is the full sized 76 foot tall tilt your head to see the whole thing IMAX. We had never been to it. The…

Sure but it’s not her fucking fault the state Supreme Court removed her ability to make emergency declarations without approval from the state legislature. She literally can’t do as you suggest without convincing a bunch of conservative Republican dumbasses to go along with it, which isn’t going to happen.

Will McConaughey court the alt right alt right alt right?

“We’ve got to protect our phony-baloney jobs, gentlemen!”

Liar!  If it was really Jimmy, he would’ve sent you peanut brittle.  Nothing but peanut brittle.