well, at least your username is accurate.

You need one state with guns. If you don’t want to take Texas, the Michigan Militia have you covered.

See, I was thinking Commando.

No chance there was any Triskit residue in the guacamole. Triskets don’t break apart unless you’re smashing them with a 16-pound sledgehammer.

Are we sure that this isn’t just GronkTv or an SNL skit? I mean, they’re showing this on Channel 69.

About 9:30pm tonight.

I know most people praise the art at the top of the article when it’s an awesome gif, but this picture really is worth a thousand words. The only thing that would make it more poignant (and infuriating at the same time) would be a disembodied arm coming in from the side with a pair of scissors getting ready to cut…

At first, I thought you said “turned the other check.”

It’s the only way to be sure.

This is how I felt about Fletch Lives.

For full tobacco pleasure.

I don’t think you could have had a reasonable thought that Simmons would be out for the season, but you’re a Fooly McFoolerson if you’re shocked that Noel and Embiid would have injury problems.

Paul Pierce played in a total of five playoff series where his team was up 3-1 over the course of his career and his team did, in fact, win them all.

So do we ever get to meet Daniel’s mom? Or, since this is PBS, I assume those libtards just gave him two dads, amirite?

Wait a minute. Is he no longer Daniel Stri-ped Tiger not that he has his own show?

And it’s correlary as it relates to food.

When I was a kid I always had to be out of the bathroom before the toilet finished flushing.

“Who gets that upset about taco shells, but drives a 30 year old beater?”

I completely agree with you. However, if you’re praising someone by saying “Hey, they’re better than Matty Moroun”, well, there are some dictators that are better than Matty Moroun.

The Dead Things was what we called them back in the late 70's.