I can’t tell if a particular word in the headline is supposed to be an adjective or a verb. Even after reading the article. Whether or not I’m supposed to be impressed, I most certainly am.

Jamal Lewis was the first one that came to my mind, but he just spent four months in a federal prison after taking a plea deal. I don’t think he was actually convicted of a felony (or it would have been longer than four months in prison, I would guess).

Plus, nobody remembers Patrick Roy’s best quote anymore (and this is coming from a Red Wings fan).

This is why our internet commenting system is falling apart. So many people with broken sarcasm detectors.

1% would be frighteningly high.

When he’s with the U20 team he looks like one of the mascots that get paired up with the players as they come out of the tunnel.

I can’t hear all of your talk about “vendors” and “fees” over the 1.5% savings ringing in my ears.

No reference, just goofing. I mean, c’mon, who really reads the fine print?

Do none of you read the fine print? 1.5%!!

I approve.

Did you miss the part where I talked about the fine print? THE FINE PRINT!

I’m saving 1.5%. I mean, it’s right there in the fine print.

That’s what I’m here for. And it’s nice to be appreciated. It really makes me feel not a little welcomed.

Ah, West Virigina. The state where, if your parents get divorced, they’re still brother and sister.

So... a lot turned on, then?

How did you hack into Drew’s computer to find next week’s gratuitous Miller’s Crossing quote?

Or Wheel of Fortune’s worst Before and After answer.

+1 GIS for you, sir.

Hey, now. They didn’t come to cause no trouble...

I honestly think the most important part of the bill (or at least the part of the bill the Republicans most want to keep) is the part where they aren’t required to raise the minimum wage. The fact that the bill was written in a way that portions of it can be rolled back makes me think this was the end game all along.