When I was 18, I worked as the maintenance guy at a Burger King north of Boston. Even in the winter, I had to be outside a lot, cleaning windows, sweeping the lot, etc. so I came up with the brilliant idea of warming up my hands under the hand dryer when I came back in.

Is Average Fan related to Area Man?

Is All Sperm Matters just the working title of the new hit song from the reboot of Monty Python’s Meaning of Life?

And, if you’re Greg Howard, you think that extra fabric makes all the difference in the world.

Superfly mentioned it, but to say he “might have had a HOF career without steroids” drastically understates how awesome he was. The conventional wisdom is that he started juicing around 2001. Prior to that, he had five individual seasons where he led the league in OPS+, won three MVP awards, finished second twice, and…

Technically, he didn’t say“everyone”, just “people”.

There’s a lot of hayfields up there.

the Giants have scored 231 runs and allowed 240 runs. That’s 2.6 R and 4.1 RA per game,

Don’t let that flag hit the ground!

Vegas doesn’t even have that last prediction on the board.

I’m quite sure that your namesake would feel the exact same way.

I cannot speak to the quality of hipsters in various cities, but I do absolutely loathe the “hipster fondue party” Taco Bell commercial, but not for the hipsters.

Because they don’t really care about player safety and only give lip service?

The NFL loves their retread head coaches, no matter how awful their record.

Like the Shel Silverstein poem about the kid who traded a dollar for two quarters, because two is more than one.

So, what did you dream?

While I absolutely LOVED Harlan’s call of that (particularly the fact that he referenced where the IOTF was tackled), I was under the impression that the IOTF had actually removed his shirt and was bare-chested.

You could have pointed out that all of the hits shown in the gif in the article were helmet-to-helmet, which is strictly prohibited and are the most likely to cause the long-term neurological effects that the NFL is trying to downplay.

You also could have said that, despite all of the blather the NFL has spewed this…

“Why would you talk to a Cardinals fan like that?”

Two things: