My first team was a baseball team that I co-owned with my brother back in 1984 or 1985. My brother moved to college in the fall of ‘85, which is why I think it might be ‘84, but I hardly remember anyone from the team.

There’s a cable channel that shows reruns of Sanford and Son (it’s either MeTV or ANTV, I don’t remember).

My guess is that, if you toast a Pop Tart the perfect amount of time, it will be beyond amazing. Unfortunately, you have to pop the toaster (no, that is not a euphemism) within a range of .002 milliseconds to achieve your goal.

I am so fired up right now.

As Woody Allen said, “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.”

I think you meant to say that they speak both French and English.

Absolutely just the cartons! Do you have any idea how much that would cost if the eggs were included?

All you really needed to do was mention Superstition.

Appalling is an adjective. Mildly is an adverb that is modifying the adjective, so they are not incompatible. There can be varying degrees of “appalling”, so to call something mildly appalling is saying that, on the scale of appalling things, this one isn’t particularly high up the list, but it is on the list.

Barney’s movie had heart, but Football in the Groin had a football in the groin.

My dad and I were having a conversation about this in how it relates to politics. It’s never the crime that’s the problem, it’s the cover-up. Even though it’s been proven time and time again (Clinton/Lewinsky being a classic case), it still came up at the RNC with Melania’s speech. All someone had to was say “yeah, we…

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

On the plus side, I happened to be watching the only Lions playoff win in my lifetime (I was born in 1970) with a guy who was a huge Cowboys fan (even though he grew up north of Boston and still lived there). I didn’t have to talk any trash at all (and that isn’t my style anyways); his despair more than made up for…

Yeah, when that guy dismissively said “a few playoff wins”, I was like “what are those?”

I assume the thinking is that, if you’ve played in the league longer, any physical problems you run into down the road are more likely to be the result of playing in the NBA.

Drumsticks!

When I was in high school, the cafeteria used to sell the knockoff Zebra Cakes for 25 cents per two-pack. One day I decided to see how many I could eat and I scarfed down 12 (cakes, not packs) in a half-hour lunch.

IMO they’ve gone down in quality... Or maybe I just didn’t notice quality back when I was 10 years old.

You get it. Same with the French Bread pizzas (although those are also good in a toaster oven).

I agree that Stauffer’s is both good and also not nearly as good as what I make myself, but how can you say that it’s quick? I think I’ve only ever had the ‘family size’ version, but that took like 90 minutes to cook in the oven.