We had “Code Reds” (quickly downgrades to “Lockdowns”) starting in 2000, and we had one per school year. We would hide in the dark, teacher would lock the doors, and we would crouch out of view of tge little windows in the door. It was coordinated with our local PD. And because we were never told ahead of time if it…

Please, no one write a recipe on how to murder humans.

Snoop’s walking over with the nail gun riiiight about now...

There it is: my entire middle school experience in 3 seconds.

He’d take that football, turn that sum’bitch sideways, and stick it straight up that ginger’s candy ass.

David Blatt could scarcely motivate teens taking a long smoke break at DQ to refill the sprinkle bucket, let alone the grown ass master of the NBA to do just about anything.

Aren’t they mandated to awkwardly jam a basketball in to the logo?

“...instead of preying on the bias we have against athletes.”

I was a ten pound, two-week-late baby and this procedure helped stamp my passport in to the world. There was at least one complication that I have been told of many, many times.

Suarez knew he was there. That's why he had all the confidence in the world that he could get to that rebound first.

And because it’s FIFA, we’ll still get to host in 2026.

That is the best lede ever written on deadspin dot com.

You are responding more thoughtfully than any Internet Commenter needs to, especially for a reasonable assertion to start this off.

...which goes to show what kind of traps you at when trying to firmulate catch-all rules that govern drug abuse, especially in a league that is so paranoid about PEDs. Not every user (or abuser, or addict) is the same, yet everyone faces the same uniform penalties.

To be fair, I am sure that seeing troves of Messi videos could look like child porn.

Ride The Snake

AAA Eneloop Pros are on sale as well!

AAA Eneloop Pros are on sale as well!

I feel somewhat responsible

Got very excited that Anthony Mason finally found a way to express himself.

Thank God we have a cadre of white men to replace them