you are not an internet hero, coming in here ranting about feminism. put down that sad prop for your meagre self-esteem, lying to yourself doesn’t help you like therapy and some deep introspection might.
Mother Of Unicorns
motherofunicorns
What?!! I’m sorry but no. This chick is sending him selfies via his SECRET email. He is MARRIED. Holy shit everything about that set up is cheating. Sex does not define an affair. That’s like saying if you’re not getting hit in the face by a spouse who puts you down, is untrustworthy and lies to you is not abusing…
After HE lies and cheats? And child support is not stealing. Women don’t pregnant alone.
bless your heart.
who cares what he wants? he made his feelings about the situation irrelevant when you stepped out while his wife was pregnant. she needs to do what is best for herself and her child and get the fuck out now.
Are we certain of that? She told him he couldn’t ever talk to someone again, that’s no way to go into a relationship.
Yeah, Katie Holmes that shit.
Yup. “Staying together/forgiving your partner’s crimes for the kids” is just a recipe for kids who grow up weird because they were born in soil poisoned with the tension and anger that you totally were putting out there even though you swear you totally weren’t.
Yes, I agree. And during that six-month lull, line her ducks up, get friends to help.
If he’s such a weak spineless childish piece of shit that he agreed in the first place and then lashes out by having a 5 year affair with the woman, he should have never gotten married IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Yeah, plus what’s necessary to establish alienation of affection or cause for divorce varies by states, but taking the proposed Machiavellian approach of using the cheating dickbag post-delivery will be ammo for his attorneys during any divorce proceedings.
Exactly.
Easier said than done. I know of couples who split during pregnancy but continued to live together and co-parent through most of the kid’s first year while they figured out what was best for them.
He’s been doing this for half a decade. And mind you, this was before they got engaged, during their engagement, during the honeymoon phase, and everything after. Their relationship has been a lie for the most part and nothing can salvage it. Nothing.
This is exactly what happened to my sister (well almost). Ex ran off with the neighbor when my sister was 7 months pregnant. It won’t get better. Leave him.
Exactly. The advice about her foisting child rearing for a newborn on him is garbage. He’s not invested in the relationship. If his lady can’t move to him, he WILL move to her, and if LW thinks he’s going to put in his work as a father, let him prove it otherwise.
Yeah, that was my suspicion as well. Not too many guys are willing to jerk off long-distance for five years without ever trying to meet in person. It may not have actually happened, but I 100% guarantee he tried to make it happen.
LW 1: GET OUT. Do not listen to this advice here and get out now. It’s not going to get better.
The amount of time that affair continued, along with the lengths he went to to cover it up tell me one thing: He won’t stop. He sounds messed up. You sort of have to be to carry something on like that for so long. My husband carried on a affair for a long time and eventually came clean to me. He also has some…