The roadster is probably why you have a baby.  Probably should have bought a minivan with faux wood trim instead.

Sorry, but nope, nope, nopity, nope. Prisons are usually located in very small towns. Do you really want them to be able to vote on things happening in that town where the chance that they have a numerical majority is high?
You committed a felony, which makes you a detriment to society, therefore you lose the…

The list is missing the most important item which is “common sense”
STAY ON THE GODDAMN TRAIL!
Tell people where you are going and when you plan to return.
Take a cellphone but don’t use it as a GPS or a flashlight.  They don’t have enough power to be used in place of the dedicated versions of those devices.  It will,…

The list is missing the most important item which is “common sense”
STAY ON THE GODDAMN TRAIL!
Tell people where you…

People like this annoy me just as much as the people who can’t resist commenting how something in a sci-fi movie would be impossible and then proceed to explain why even though I never asked.  Just f*cking shut up and enjoy it, for cripe’s sake!

Keep it up and this will be the only way to visit the parks.

Don’t you just love it when one president’s executive orders are deemed irreversible while another’s are deemed to be unconstitutional?  Welcome to the banana republic, citizen.  Step this way to receive your Mao suit.

Note the blank paper on the page in the photo. That’s what a “guru” can tell you.
Step 1: Buy a copy of Quicken and use it religiously. You’ll quickly see where your money is going.
Step 2: Realize just how much of your life you rent instead of own.
Step 3: Cut back on the stuff you listed in step 2.

Step 1: Look at the photo
Step 2: Admit that you have TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome)
Step 3: Seek a therapist and move on with your life because this isn’t as important as you’ve built it up in your mind to be.

Encourage the kid that collects spores, molds, and fungus.

Martial Arts is a business. The schools generally suck you in with the lure of becoming a black belt which, no surprise, takes a fairly specific amount of time and hence money.  One of my favorite lines from the movie “Lake Placid” is, “Don’t you say ‘go’ in karate?!”
What you really want is to find someone that will…

Speculators are dumping Lyft. FTFY.
This happens with most IPOs. That’s not to say that the business isn’t without its problems (hint: political greed).

“Sure,” they said, “Let’s spend billions of dollars on ‘high-speed’ rail,” they said, “It’ll be great,” they said. Yeah, right.
The only way rail is going to be a good way to travel in the US is by doing several things:
1) Privatize the whole thing.
2) Build passenger-only routes.
3) Tell the environmentalists and the…

And this, folks, is why Spotify should go pound sand VERY VERY hard.

Rumor has it that it boils down to software that is intended to make the new plane feel like the old plane.

I have two 86 4Runners.  No, they’re not for sale.

Isn’t it amazing how much of one’s money is spent on sh*t that shouldn’t be necessary?

You should, like, try to speak and write normally.

Because Microsoft.  Obviously.  Clearly, some group of less-intelligent engineers in Redmond decided that the OS gets top priority over everything else that peon customers want to do.

I just want Windows to not lie to me.  If it looks like it’s ready to use, it better damn well BE ready to use.  Don’t give me any of this spinning arrow cursor crap while you hog all the CPU time farting around with God knows what instead of paying attention to what I want to do.

This is as stupid as is all those morons who buy SUVs without four-wheel drive and then can’t get anywhere when is snows.  If you’re buying a Jeep to look cool, do the world a favor and never drive it off road where it will inevitably run out of schlitz thus requiring the pretentious asshats to be rescued at taxpayer…