Perhaps not but The Machine definitely is.

Where’s the button that says “F*CK YOU! NOT YOURS!”?

You look them directly in the eye and say, “I was wrong, I love you.”

Here’s how this is going to go:
Company and employees make a product that sells for $3.  Company gets $2.  Employees get $1.  Union comes in saying “Comes the revolution, everyone will eat strawberries.”  Employees swallow it hook, line, and sinker.  Company now only gets $1, Employees still only get $1, union gets…

I’m just going to say it: Don’t let them banish you to the Friend Zone. If they don’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore, it’s not going to get any better. The Friend Zone sucks... as in sucks the life out of you.
Trying to stay friends because you think that will make you a better person is B.S. Nobody…

So here’s the thing: This will tell you more about how your matchmaking friend sees you than anything else. Don’t let them set you up blind.  If your matchmaker sets you up with somebody they know damn well isn’t your type, politely decline.  If they press the issue, tell them that clearly they don’t understand you…

To hell with what other people think unless you’re using your vehicle for business purposes e.g. realTOR (note the pretentious emphasis on the OR).

The simple fact is that there are a LOT of people with a LOT of money who fly well below the radar. At a certain point, your money simply makes more money by investing it in companies and bonds some of which are *gasp* municipal bonds i.e. local governments.
These people don’t sit mountains of cash just looking at it.…

Exactly.  This is what they used on the Chechen rebels who took over the theater back in the day.  The US was taken totally by surprise.

Instead of bitching about how some people are rich and whining that you’re not, maybe you should try to learn about how they got where they are. Hint: it usually involves being in the right place at the right time with the right idea and a lot of hard work. Hint #2: putting in a lot of hours doesn’t mean you’re…

This man is my hero.  When I win the stupid-big Powerball, I plan to buy a ranch next door.

Fun fact: The Russians found a way to weaponize this stuff.

Just because this test shows you’re not tone-deaf doesn’t mean you can sing.

Yes, I need new, clean eyeglasses but I read that headline as “Amazon is shopping for souls.”

When I was a senior in high-school, most kids in my class (of only 200) were in some varsity sport. A handful of us weren’t but still had to have some P.E. credit. We called it G-squad.  That was actually entertaining.

Here’s the potential legal problem particularly in New York. The law talks about the privilege of citizen’s arrest being granted to land-owners. The subway isn’t personal property.
Furthermore, private citizens have to be 100% sure that a crime is being committed. Police only need probable cause. Sorry, but free speech…

Kudos for the Douglas Adams reference.

Step 1: Don’t be a douche thinking that FAA rules don’t apply to you.

Pocket square? Pretentious.
The food thing? My family always hosted holiday dinners and the rule was “This is an English household” which means go ahead and eat before it gets cold.
Jeans to church? I refer to Amy Farrah Fowler’s line, “I don’t object to the concept of a deity but I’m baffled by one that takes…

What this SHOULD tell you is to never ever allow government to dictate fuel economy goals because they aren’t scientists or engineers and don’t know the first f*cking thing about the subject.