Maybe true! I myself do not long to get married or have a long term relationship. Do I like dating and meeting people? Sure. But I also love my job (which often requires travel) and love the ability to be able to take off last minute and go away for a weekend, spur of the moment, without inconveniencing someone else…

Four words for you: Robin Hood is a fox ;)

Not the first fuckup involving bad owners and MSG.

It is a little too late for the Hawks to start getting defensive about Game 2.

Also known as “my teenage complexion”.

this is long form garbage

That is a delicious looking corn dog. I HAVE NOT HAD A CORN DOG IN YEARS. I really want a corn dog.

I’m taken back to my brief stint as a pitcher. I was in third or fourth grade and had been selected based on the fact that I was one of a few kids who could throw kinda hard more than a few times.

I do have real moisturizer, which, like my conditioner, is a remnant of an ex-girlfriend who used it religiously and would not go a night without it. I tried using it to masturbate once, obviously, but I would not recommend it:

Success is just failure that hasn’t happened yet!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, but will he retain custody of Harry Styles?

They’ve been waiting for their chance to charge the mound ever since Randy Johnson murdered their mom.

These are batting-cage-free chickens.

“the LA Lakers” “known for having players who are good at their jobs”

We will kick around your idea and then go back and forth on it.

Just remember to put the seat back down after y’all are done today, k?

What about bears? We’re supposed to get bears on Friday.

Cracker barrel food is consistent but I can fight random professional MMA fighters and take a consistent ass whipping. Consistent isn’t alwasy good.