“Tickets please, genitalia please. OK enjoy your festival”

Thank you. I can’t believe how many people don’t understand that dipping is what you do with snuff and chewing is what you do with tobacco. It seems to be mainly dipshits, though.

You should have said no and told her the wand chose you - that’s why it didn’t obey her.

Stared because of “still would bang.” Harrison Ford continues to look fine as hell.

Don't get me wrong, its not a good thing. However, I work in medical software, and we get this kind of terrifying video presentation about what can go wrong with patient handoff. It involves a sick old lady with bedsores, and a hospital where they neglect to give her her morphine (or something similar, I forget) one…

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

The fact that he's bisexual is a much, much smaller issue than the fact that he boned her dad. Talk about straining at gnats and swallowing camels — coming clean on his sexuality but keeping the fact that he's been with her dad secret would be like admitting he likes chocolate but omitting that he's an active heroin…

We live in far more tolerant times and there are plenty of people out there who wouldn't see bisexuality as any barrier to a committed union.

Nothing works like a good old classic

Honestly, if I were advertising sex in windows, it’d probably look less like this (I’d wish/think it’d look like that):

LOL

In what way? He was an abuse victim. I see no reason to think those daughters would be in danger from him. From her? Yeah, I can see her being a loon around them as well.

Secret to making marriage work? What child rape?

Thefuck ?

Because his parents are "embarrassed" by how he and his wife choose to live their marriage. So he's putting it all out in the open on Twitter, to give them something to really be embarrassed about. Good for him. His parents sound like assholes.

Amy Sedaris and David Sedaris, either together or separately.

The recently departed Sir Terry Pratchett would have topped my list, but, you know. RIP. :(

It has been too long.

This guide is way too long to go through in one sitting... it should be split up into at least 5 episodes.

Now if NASCAR would only address its race problem.

You may get into a few arguments.