If the correct cheese is used, this combination is heavenly. There's one like it at a place near my favorite sports pub, but that one looks objectively disgusting.

"Jumping naked into a pool of ice cold dildos"

I mean, at least it made up SOME kind of excuse as to why the boring, average lady was picked up by some crazy rich dude. Just forgot that the genre was romance, not psychological horror (is psychological thriller+horror a thing?).

Jon Stewart is leaving us, and Taylor Swift is copyrighting the phrase "sick beat." I hope Kitchenette has revenge tales again soon.

Not that I don't think there's women out there who'd pay to satisfy their foot fetish, but I'm skeptical of someone who doesn't want to put up their address but is willing to put up a name, which could likely be used to find said address. Kiiinda thinking fake name?

Civilization (n): The point at which people have to make up excuses in order to do shitty things to other people.

First time I ever heard sketch (sketchy) used it just sounded like it meant creepy, so this is interesting. Also in your friends defense, while f**t and n**r seem to have always described every member of the specific class (blacks, gay men)with the implied stereotypes of the class, b**h seems to describe a subset of…

It might be regional dialect, but I don't think anyone, regardless of ethnicity, in my area pairs "ain't" and "have". It kinda sounds like a northerner coming up and saying "hey y'all" when you're alone and not representing any larger group. Most likely there's a regional dialect difference in the use of y'all which…

Just don't apply this to the flowers, they're lovely and don't deserve it.

Yeah, all I'm saying is that since all gay men are misogynistic, self-centered assholes, it's totally appropriate to call all misogynistic, self-centered assholes "fag". No disrespect to gay men at all.

Large mouthfuls and liberal hand use are the keys to pleasure. When eating.

I dunno, the success of Downton Abbey has shown that Americans are actually far more comfortable with a period piece than you might expect.

Dunno why people are saying her tongue looks dirty. I don't think that looks is achievable through anything other than scorched-earth treatment of your mouth with mouthwash, or shots of high proof grain alcohol. The former is definitely the more enjoyable experience.

Seriously. Some people appreciate a guy who can just put in as much as possible.

Aww that was one of my teenage guilty pleasure fantasy/roms. I doubt that it will be adapted anytime soon, because I question that there's an audience that is willing to take widespread prostitution without stigma. GoT recognizes the oldest profession, but it very much goes for the "whore" angle on it. If it happens I…

It's decided. I'm going to be a drag queen when I grow up. That person deserves role model status.

Wait does that mean that I get to have a legitimate beef? Yeah, I'm totally down. As long as we stay off Twitter, and the whole thing is done in diss/counter-diss mixtapes.

If you try to take that Grammy solo I will have my lawyers on you faster than Nick Young can change his reaction to an airballed 3. Just remember there's records of the collaboration on The Muse.*

I'm pretty sure that the US government recently opened the door for women in combat. So, just to paraphrase an argument always used about men... You can choose to die for your country, but you aren't considered capable of properly choosing consenting sexual partners? Yeah, I don't get it.

Can I just say you are a saint? To have people who don't know you or your relationships tell you how things "really" were because of course everyone is exactly the same... And not start tearing heads of... Respect.