This is God’s punishment for Mercury Morris and Don Shula being champagne-popping assholes every year since 1972. 

I thought they said Leftist. I would have bought them. 

I thought they said Leftist. I would have bought them. 

If Flores has any self-awareness, tomorrow starts with Warrant’s 80’s hair metal classic, Uncle Tom’s Cabin. 

Hard Knock Life

I heard Bill speak at a fundraiser in Wilkes-Barre PA about 5 years ago. It was 25 minutes of pure heartfelt inspiration.

My stent was in for 7 weeks. I taught high school seniors from an office chair for SEVEN FUCKING WEEKS because the stent went from my bladder to my kidney and 8 could feel the plastic shift. While constantly feeling like I had to piss.

Why does every cop in America wear those shitty Oakley glasses? Can’t we get some Lt. Dangle aviator action?

If LaVar Ball turns us down, we’ll have a lunch

She was in a box. Essentially upper deck. 

Doesn’t someone just rent this shit?

Doesn’t someone just rent this shit?

He should have gone over to her place Incognito.

You think everyone doesn’t know what the Kawhi logo looks like?

I don’t disagree. But if you truly felt you were being wronged, wouldn’t the petty part of you want to hit back hard too?

It’s a lonesome death. 

There’s a lot of mouth to hit. 

Why are you soaking? Isn’t soaking what Mormon kids do to get off and not have to call it sex?

Hard to blame them, but this isn’t hurting Uber at all. Which I get is not the point, but we’ve gotten to a sad place when labor’s only recourse is a pissing contest.

We’re talking under 17? Right?  Right?

We’re talking under 17? Right?  Right?

Emmitt Smith guest-edited that part. 

I’ve got Eagles season tickets and every year gets more cringe-worthy. I sell most of them, but MNF and Cowboys games bring out THE WORST.