COTAT.

(Comment of the All-Time)

This one time, when I waited in line in the check-out at Whole Foods (checking my iPhone 7.3), I saw a mother with WIC vouchers buy like ... six containers of formula and then drive off in a car.

I was so distressed that I accidentally chipped my French manicure re-adjusting my Lululemon pants.

Welfare people, you…

Exciting! More posts and a dedicated space are always a good thing. :)

Yay! Roy G. Biv! Roy G. Biv!

Wait, I just realized: what do we do if a really big story comes out about buffalo wings from a gay chicken? SHIT, INSOLUBLE PHILOSOPHICAL CONUNDRUM.

...I may have been dipping into InfectiousGirl's wine.

I once volunteered with 5 year olds in Guatemala city, and was astounded when they got cake as a treat, took a few bites, and wrapped up the rest to take home to their families.

"He deserved my scorn, but doesn't deserve it from everyone else."

Poor Jim Bob. He fucks her crosseyed, gives her a shitload of children, and yet the main man in her life is STILL Jesus.

I actually feel rather sorry for pears because they're so frequently inedible. It's like a tragic design flaw.

Well done steak.

You've just ruined cum for everybody.

It's basically fish-jello. The only people I know who really genuinely enjoyed it were Japanese. Just cut off little pieces and eat it with lots of butter and potato. Play Garrison Keillor in the background. Be smug about how cultured and gosh-darn Minnesotan you are.

You just reminded me of the time a friend's restaurant order almost made me cry and probably made the chef cry. I was part of a group in college that every year we would go to a local steakhouse. It was a little hole in the wall in rural Montana, so they knew their steak, and their prime rib was one of the best things…

"Do you like room-temperature cream-of-chicken soup, but just wish it could be more like a beige snot-brownie? MERRY CHRISTMAS, TINY TIM."

I am now pondering how to trick my friends into an 'Incredible, Inedible '50's Dinner Party', because this looks like gross, horrible fun.

I just don't know if I can take this seriously unless he starts wearing a bag over his head.

That makes Miley Cyrus the real-life Rayanne!

I would like to sincerely recommend the bloopers from The Office. Every season of them are on YouTube. It's not just flubbed lines, hardeeharhar stuff. It's them unable to continue because they are laughing so hard at themselves. The clips offer, no shit, some of the most genuine belly laughs I have ever had, and…

"with her 18-year old son"