On the other hand it's always nice when people stop lying.

A dollar a wing? They need to start selling beer at a ridiculous mark-up so they can drop those wing prices down.

And in honor of Jared Leto's award, CVS is going to offer a 50% discount on all douches.

She doesn't know that I've called an Emergency Meetings of All Black People. We are drafting a contract that any white person must sign before any of us get busy:

Yes! Why is this complicated? You can just go from beer to sex without separating any goddamn eggs. Directions: 1) Drink beer out of literally any container. 2) Enjoy sexytimes. DONE.

I was just picturing trying really hard to make it fit, the donut crumbling, then spending the next half hour scooting around naked vacuuming up donut crumbs with your mouth.

We were like: "Is this a thing? Only one way to find out.". Turns out, it is a thing. :)

Can I just? For one moment?

Just wait for next month's issue. "50 ANIMAL BITES TO SPICE UP YOUR SEX LIFE."

Years ago I called Old Ted having early onset Alzheimer's, hence why him telling these stories to his kids is so important.

Please, somebody have tried any of these. I want to know what disastrous thing happened. Can we run a special "I tried this cosmopolitan sex tip and now my boyfriend won't get close enough for me to spray him with Hot Tamale Spray. I think he has trust issues."

I was just going to post an eyeroll GIF before I remembered that I had this in my folder. This works, too.

I hope they dig up someone actually named Adele Dazeem and let her present.

Is his hair pretty? I think it looks ratty.

Vegan with no alcohol?

Ahahaha I love the little girl who was told that there was no texting back in the day and she was like "So how did you talk to your friends? Ohhhhhh... You called them..."

Yeah, think that "we make more" has been debunked pretty thoroughly. Some segments of our community make more by virtue of being "double income no kids" but often that's because they fit into rigid male gender roles. Lesbians, trans people, gay men who don't fit masculine stereotypes don't make as much money.

First, she's not (yet) Japanese. She is an American living abroad, as you suggested she should. She's not a person of color. She also isn't on a board about 12YAS, she's on her own kinja site, ROYGBIV, replying to a comment she received, directed to her, on her article on another movie entirely, Dallas Buyer's Club.

Kat, I haven't seen the film yet, but thanks for giving me something to think when I do get around to seeing it.

JIZZ POCKET!