This story is as baffling as it is horrifying. This woman, by her own admission, chose to cruelly kill her pet. But she claims someone else suggested that she do it, and she feels really bad about it, so she’s certain she’s the real victim here.

o!o! cumming!

Truly, the Darkest Timeline

True. Luckily the White House is only a tiny portion of the bureaucracy. And I never thought I’d ever be typing the words THANK GOD FOR BUREAUCRACY!

No, this is totally an article about the Cardinals. It’s an article about how the Cardinals got nowhere near the World Series and their hated rivals won it all, and didn’t even have to really go through the Cardinals to do it because the Cardinals sucked and didn’t even sniff the playoffs. And now all the Cardinals’…

This is the only administration in my lifetime that has me cringing/hoping when the alarm goes off at 6 am and Morning Edition starts up. Cringing: what has Orange Julius Caesar done late at night-tweeted?/Hoping: He’s in jail, impeached, dead...

“Floppy failure”—I love that!

It happens more often than you’d think.

I keep telling my sister pull ups are important for this very reason. You gotta be able to pull yourself up if you’re ever hanging off of something like a cliff, ledge, rail, blimp, helicopter, amusement park ride, or a giant robot.

She’s like the original AHCA

Wow. Those haphazard homemade signs don’t exactly convey that their heart is in this.

Cosby supporters.

I would need handcuffs and/or narcotics to avoid touching my arm after that.

Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope…

This is brilliant, and must immediately be released. Trump refrigerator poetry.

Obama Care victims... Dafuq?

HE LITERALLY GHOSTED HER!

In my humble opinion....Alec ain’t wrong.

No! YOU move on! All you libtards! Accept it! You lost! That election! That we won! Or won*! We won it... hey don’t you walk away from me... not until you admit that we won... look... Trump is president! He won! Nobody thought he could win and he won! Hey! HEY! Admit it that you just can accept it and get over it! Let…

I consistently failed Penmanship.